HIS LITTLE FLOCK

For a long time, it was unclear to me what ‘being a Christian’ actually entailed in terms of behavior:

How should I behave now that I have become a Christian?

It was clear that I had gained new insights and that I had realized that my old life was gone… I had received a new life by giving my heart to the Lord Jesus. A clean slate. But when I looked at other Christians in church or on TV, it was not clear to me exactly what I was supposed to do ‘differently’. Because I had been raised as an unbeliever, I had a deep need for a kind of handbook. A book with rules that I could understand immediately and that also stated what I was supposed to do now.

‘Yes, but… isn’t that the Bible? Isn’t that a kind of handbook that tells you what to do?’

That is what was said to me when I confided my concerns to others. And of course that is true, only the Bible is not exactly the simplest book if you did not grow up in a church environment. If you are raised as a non-believer, then all the church jargon and the way you are supposed to interpret the Bible are not immediately clear for your daily lifestyle. And due to my inexperience (I had only just become a Christian), I was quite inclined to take everything literally…

A long road of searching followed: I took various Bible studies and other forms of Christian education. I listened to sermons in church but also on the internet. I asked as many other Christian men and women as possible… but I did not find what I wanted. Namely, an answer to the question:

What am I going to do with my life now that I have become a Christian?

Psalm 119: 25-28

‘My soul lies down in the dust
let me live as You have promised.

If I tell You my ways, You answer.
Teach me Your laws.
Teach me to understand the way of Your rules
and I will meditate on Your wonders.

My soul cries out in sorrow,
lift me up, as You have promised.’

At a certain point, I found myself in a personal crisis which, more or less, forced me to do a major cleanup in my life. Everything was turned upside down and clutter was cleared away. Everything that had been deeply hidden away was brought into the light… secrets, shame, sin, fear and anger. For I had indeed become a Christian, but I had not properly understood that I should not start behaving differently, but that my heart had to change.

And I noticed that when I was finished with this major cleanup, I felt different and consequently started behaving differently as well. Gifts and talents finally came to the surface, and as a result, I made different life choices. Because I finally dared to give my mess to the Lord God (and thereby also showed others who I was and what I had been through), He could finally get to work with me.

‘I give my life to You, Lord’ by Natascha Deijmann

Workbook

To find out what still needs to be ‘cleaned up’ in your life, you can do this writing exercise.

• How recognizable are you as a Christian?
• How much baggage (or junk) are you still dragging along from your past? To what extent is that still hidden from others?

If you, together with the Lord Jesus, were allowed to do a major cleanup in your life… what would need to be cleared away?